What is acceptance? Acceptance is a technical term in meditation similar to equanimity. When we meditate, we notice a sensation or a sound or a feeling and then we accept that it's present. We don't do what most of us do reflexively all the time which is we subtly interfere with sounds and feelings and sensations. We block what we don't like, and we grab on to what we do. Doing both feeds a pattern of reactivity that actually amplifies our suffering

In the moment it's a bit like swimming upstream in the middle of a river. The more we fight against the current the more exhausted we become. And the more we resist, the more we struggle to notice the calm water by the shoreline.

What's the alternative to resistance? The alternative is taking a breath, finding our poise, and allowing everything to be there. From that place of acceptance, we act. That’s acceptance.

Another thing we can do is disarm our problems by deciding they aren't problems at all. They're just how things happen to be right now. Feelings of annoyance or frustration don't have to go away. Accepting our feelings means being with them without judgment and not allowing ourselves to get lost in them. We say to ourselves ‘this is just what's here.’ That's a perspective that helps us be more accepting.

Activity: Practice acceptance

• What do I often resist (e.g., emotions, physical sensations, recurring thoughts/judgments)?
• In what way can I shift my perspective away from resistance towards acceptance?

To explore this topic in therapy, contact me. We can schedule a free phone consultation to discuss how you can practice acceptance in your life. 

Source: Adapted from a meditation on the Calm app